he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
