Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
