nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
