So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
