Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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