shes about as inviting as chlamydia
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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