he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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