she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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