But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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