After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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