i just google imaged poop.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
