I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
