She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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