So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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