I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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