did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
