Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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