I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
