I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
