just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
