Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
