My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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