38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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