last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
