I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
