need another drink. this is the easiest way
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
