you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
