just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
His nipple licking is glorious
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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