And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
