when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
