He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
