i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
