I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
