I wish i was in the wii world.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize