why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The air was thick with penises
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
