i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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