don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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