you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
