so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
