if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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