yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Floor bacon is actually really good
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
