May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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