ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
