i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
