She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
