I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
