I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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