We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
