Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
