We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Vodka?
Forever.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
