dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
