hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
