All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
