i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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