It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
