i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
