you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
