I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
