I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
