those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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